


Family

by XantunsiaRiveresiana



Series: Gilberti Riveresiana Chronicles [4]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Au Ra (Final Fantasy XIV), Female Miqo'te (Final Fantasy XIV), Gen, Hunters & Hunting, Lalafell (Final Fantasy XIV), Male Miqo'te (Final Fantasy XIV), Original Character-centric, Short, Wilderness Survival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:13:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23629030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XantunsiaRiveresiana/pseuds/XantunsiaRiveresiana
Summary: And So he finally understands what it means.
Series: Gilberti Riveresiana Chronicles [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1700908





	Family

Extorris.  
The calculator. Ruthlessly accurate in her calculations, fearlessly facing their own death defying strategies, and ever watching the pain and death before her for how she can better the outcome. The most capable scout one could ask for.  
"Psst. Gil. You're still hungry right? Treat yourself to some extra."  
"Fall back Gil! We're changing tactics! You're going to get hurt!"   
"Gil! Gil!! Get up! We're getting out of here together okay!"

Vigilis.   
The Enforcer. Relentlessly aggressive in her assaults, extraordinarily evasive and even more durable when she is actually hit, a force of nature that will fight through the destruction and sacrifice of the weak to overcome their opponent. The most capable vanguard one could ask for.  
"Tsk… That may be enough for today Gil, no point in training to the point of injury."  
"Geh..! If you have enough time to gawk at my wound then dodge next time!"  
"Damn it..! Leader! We need to fall back! I've got him but Gil is injured!"

Xantunsia.  
The Leader. Excelling at all of the above and then some. Survived the island the longest and has the instincts to show for it. Silent and efficient, no words, no actions taken are unnecessary to the clan's survival. The most capable commander one could ask for.  
"Ooh! Ooh! What is this called Noir? Gil! Look at this!"  
"Welp! Turned out to be poisonous! But nothing we haven't survived before right Gil?"  
"How're you today Gil? Hm? Yes yes that fine but how do you FEEL? Tired? Happy? Hungry?"

… Something is wrong with my clan. It's like they're forgetting the learned behavior that kept them alive on the island. Yes these lands seem less dangerous now but, how could they just disregard those instincts? Those years?  
The fear?  
Should a monster appear now and hunt us with the power they had on the island, would we survive as we are? How can they not be thinking of that? How can the memory of such hopeless power be cast aside? Is it related to what Leader had called us recently, what that outsider had taught her?  
Family?  
I don't understand.

\---

"Leader." I called out as we ran back to camp, breaking the silence that was looming over the clan. It had been an unfortunately unsuccessful hunt, but there had been no injuries. Despite that, the air was… heavy? I had an inclination as to why that could be, but didn't understand the connection.  
"I told you Gil, you can call me Mom-"  
"Leader. Why did that beast stay to combat it's hunters?" I cut her off from her nonsense. We had only escaped that ambush because the beasts decided the nearby beastlings were easier marks, yet the babies escaped, because the largest one stayed to fight their hunters. I didn't understand, there was no chance of survival alone against such a large hunting party, but also, the large one had the best chance of escaping. They chose the option least likely to result in their survival. I didn't understand.

"They were her children Gil." Xantunsia explained. "She probably cared more about their survival than… even her own." She said in an unusual tone.  
"Children… that's … related to that 'family' thing you've been toting recently…?"  
My words seemed to take her out of the strangely sullen mood as she replied with a smirk "Yeah. They are related." And then ruffled the hair on my head, an action she'd been taking to recently for all of the clan. It was strange when she did this, I felt… Strange. I hadn't felt it before but when she did that, when Extorris and Vigilis looked after me with… concern? When this warmth came from them, to me, it felt unique, odd, I didn't understand this feeling.

But I do now.  
That beast mother showed me. Something that would have you throw away your own life like that, make you face the fear of death so readily, it could only be one thing  
An even worse  
More horrible  
Fear.

Death is horrifying, the nightmarish violence of being reduced to the feed of monsters, the screams of the islands fallen attest to it enough, but the moment you face it, that dark void, and the gnashing maw that intends to send you there, it cannot truly be processed.You die the moment you try to, shut down, enter the cold abyss early, only returning should you actually come back alive, with nothing but a memory gap, and the terrible scar that will remind you, remind you of that despair.  
For there to be anything that could make something willingly face that, it could only be something even more unfathomably nightmarish, a fear beyond fear itself. Is that… the feeling of losing a family member? Is that… What my clan would now face if I died? My existence could cause them to face such a horror? I don't want that. Why don't I want that? I don't understand. Is it because they're family?  
Would I face such fear if they died?  
The prospect continued to present itself.  
The abyss closed in again.  
And then, maddeningly so, the endless abyss, for just a moment…  
Grew larger.

Family  
is terrifying.

\---

I didn't mess up.  
It was simple logic, the hunting pack from before did the same thing even, I'm the ambush fighter and the baby beasts were easier prey. Vigilis had gotten good enough to handle bears on her own, Extorris had trapped them in the perfect location, and Leader and the outsider had their separate targets under control. More kills meant more food. It made sense. It was executed flawlessly.  
I didn't understand  
Why I was about to die.

The cubs barely let out a yelp in the moment death took them, yet that faintest of noises caused a transformation in the mother beast. We've hunted dozens of them at this point, know their limits, and I counted at least seven mortal blows as the creature barrelled through Vigilis' defense. A defense that has held bear after bear shattered and cast aside in an instant. The traps Extorris set around the parameter going off one by one, maiming the berserking foe's features and one might think impeding their movement, and yet their charge continued.  
I was the evasive one, and it was because of that I didn't move as the berserking beast approached me. I could tell, the wrath, the power that was about to be brought down upon me could not be dodged. What was before me now was no beast anymore.  
It was the power of a monster.

"Ah…" a satisfied gasp escaped me. It had been so long since I saw such beautiful, monstrous power that it almost eclipsed the abyss of death I faced. Or perhaps I simply wanted it to, to stow the fear that tried slowly devoured me by blinding myself in the beauty of what was causing it. The power to control the fear, to control death, to exercise dominion over such a paralyzingly terrifying concept, to take pleasure in such a thing even, not since my days on the island had I seen such power firsthand. I should simply focus on that, the void of death, it can come after that…

"Get out of there Gil! You have to get up!"  
"Leave the cubs Gil! You have to fall back!"  
"Gil!!"  
"Gil!!!"

Damn it. Stop wasting the effort, neither of you can stand against this monster either. Just let it end quietly. Don't drag my focus away, don't make me look at my death, at the damage left in its wake. Don't make the darkness expand again! I don't want to die! I don't want you to see me d-  
And suddenly, I was no longer here.  
I was back on the island, for just a moment.  
Back to that moment, all those years ago, when my life should have ended, when the timely intervention of a stronger, more beautiful monster decided to devour my hunter instead of me. Why am I seeing this again?

Because it was happening again.  
Xantunsia, my leader, had burst through the surrounding brush at speeds I hadn't known were possible with a face I had never seen on her. Eyes alight with fury and teeth more bared than the monster with which she collided. Like a bolt of ravenous, enraged lightning she crashed into the bear before it's blow could strike me. With the surprise taken into account, it was no longer a fight. Already heavily wounded, the blow from Xantunsia's claw knocked the monster down, and though while it breathed, it never stopped attempting to get up, it was never given the chance. My leader eviscerated the creature, tearing and rending her foe until it was unrecognizable, using claw and fang to mash her prey into an unsalvageable pulp. The rage never leaving her eyes, the deep, guttural growls of anger escaping between the meat she tore out of her victim and the maw which it hung from. What I saw, standing over her successful hunt, panting and growling through the adrenaline that pumped through her, now without an outlet.

Was the most beautiful monster in this world.  
Drenched in her prey's sparse remains, my leader shambled over in my direction slowly. From that display of power, she could clearly tear the flesh from my bones in but moments, but I no longer cared. Death had been completely eclipsed by that display of beauty. I knew my leader could survive anything now, defeat any monster, were I to be devoured for her to grow that strength I wouldn't even care anymore.

So when she lifted her arms to grip me  
And then gently pulled me in  
I was speechlessly confused.

"Thank goodness…! Thank goodness I made it in time…!!" Said the tender voice coming from Xantunsia. A voice thoroughly unbefitting the monster that I had just witnessed.  
"Leader… what… was that….?" I finally managed to ask the vulnerable Miqo'te gripping me. The monster from before was simply gone now. I didn't understand.  
"I thought you were gonna die Gil! I didn't think I would make it but I did! You're alive! Thank goodness!" She repeated.

I looked around, trying to gather some sort of semblance of reason from these events. I looked at the cub corpses, and the remains of their caretaker. I thought back to what Leader said before. Family. Was it related? Both Leader and the bear showed an extraordinary gain in strength, Leader has become their new, gentler self but the bear… the bear never stopped…   
I thought back to the beast that chose to die for their "family" what the desire for their family to live did to them, what the fear of losing them did to them. How did the children feel I wondered? Knowing what their weakness caused, know who of them should have lived, had the power to live, the beautiful life they may have stripped from the world. How much that guilt, that fear must have made them suffer. I thought back to the bear again, their children already dead, and the consistency of their monstrous transformation, of their power.

"Thank you… Mother." I said, marking the collection of my thoughts.  
Surprise took her expression, followed gradually by a wave of joy as she hugged me tighter.   
"Gil!!"  
After not too long, the remainder of the clan ran up and joined the embrace. Their faces also awash with a complex expression of relief, concern, joy,  
I was also joyful,  
For I finally understood  
Family  
And what I had to do.


End file.
